I think my blog is going to take a very interesting turn to.....uninteresting lol. I recently decided that I need to stop running from the force known as God and be obedient to His will. What's funny to me is that so many people characterize the Christian lifestyle as rigid, boring and cold. But I must say, it has been none of that for me. Every day is a new ride on the roller coaster of life as I battle with my carnal desires and try to take the higher ground. Who knew that the battle between spirit and flesh would be so epic?
Oh wait...God knew.
All the more reason for me to give the reins to Him.
So I've only been at it a few days and I've already backslid in a major way....and I may do it again. I'm struggling to let certain things go...and they are proving harder than I ever imagined. The bane to my spiritual existence? That 3-letter word...
S.E.X.
I wonder if God knew just how much of a sexual drive He was giving me when he decided to put my parts together. Well, of course He knew, but sometimes I wonder why? I am insatiable. I could do the "do" more than several times a day and still want more. What's up with that? And it doesn't help that I live with my ex, the father of my son. Somebody told me they call this "rollover d*ck." That may very well be the case. But that's not what I want to use it for. And yet....I find myself pulled down that spiral over and over again.
My motto: "No one said it would be easy." Damn straight.
Easy it definitely hasn't been, but I have to believe that with time, prayer and faith, eventually it will get easy. I see you in the distance, Easy Street. I really do....it's about a mile away from me. But metaphorically, I plan to be strolling down this mythical street some time in my near future. By the grace of God.
07 August 2009
14 May 2009
The Case of the Ex
Here's some ish for you...
A hypothetical woman...let's call her Twin, is in a very interesting situation. She has a child with her ex-boyfriend, but is currently still residing with him. Twin has a decent job, but is locked into a lease and doesn't have $2000 to break it at the moment. Her ex still shows her a lot of attention, and seems to do everything he can to hold on to her without going for the all-out committment. Twin is not dumb; she knows that this nucca is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Yet she finds it exceedingly difficult to wak away from 3 years of history...and the father of her child. Twin has several men in her camp that would love to step into ex's shoes and handle BI like real mean do...but Twin is in a conundrum because she wants to move on but is scared to move on. What shouldI Twin do?
A hypothetical woman...let's call her Twin, is in a very interesting situation. She has a child with her ex-boyfriend, but is currently still residing with him. Twin has a decent job, but is locked into a lease and doesn't have $2000 to break it at the moment. Her ex still shows her a lot of attention, and seems to do everything he can to hold on to her without going for the all-out committment. Twin is not dumb; she knows that this nucca is trying to have his cake and eat it too. Yet she finds it exceedingly difficult to wak away from 3 years of history...and the father of her child. Twin has several men in her camp that would love to step into ex's shoes and handle BI like real mean do...but Twin is in a conundrum because she wants to move on but is scared to move on. What should
12 May 2009
Woman to Woman
My younger sister of 21 years of age recently came out the closet. As her sister, I've known for a while, but she finally felt comfortable enough to tell the world. My parents, devout Christians of course, were in a fury, denounced her choice, yada yada yada, and you know how that story goes. But eventually, everyone either accepted it, or in the case of my parents, vehemently denied that her homosexuality even exists.
My sister has been in several relationships since she let the world know how she really feels, and for the life of me, I can't understand how she does it. It's hard enough for most women to get along with other women, but two women in a relationship?!? This is Girls Gone Wild Gone Very Very Bad. My sister is the "man"... very laid back, very chill, very non-confrontational. Her latest girl is a girl in every sense of the word. Drama queen to the umpteenth degree. She purposely pushes my sister's buttons to get a rise or a response ... but in most cases it blows up in her face. My sister just doesn't give in ... most of the time. But i just can't get with it. Besides the idea of munching on something I'm only supposed to vacuum, I can't handle the notion of having to emotionally handle another woman. I'm a Cancer, a water sign, which means my tears and emotions flow freely around this b*tch! But seriously, we're emotional wrecks! Add that to the fact that we are already emotional creatures (being born with a vagina and all), and you got a serious emotional catastrophe on your hands. So with all this emotion flowing, how can anyone get anywhere or accomplish anything?
I know about the benefits. Who better understands a woman than a woman? But hell, when the sh*t hits the fan and it's time to play "Who can hurt who more?" I don't want to be anywhere near that. A woman can cut to a man's core, so you already know what she can do to another woman! Face it, we can be some ruthless heifers when we want to be.
I have enough trouble dealing with the man in my life, why add a whole new level of drama to that with a woman in the mix?
Your thoughts?
My sister has been in several relationships since she let the world know how she really feels, and for the life of me, I can't understand how she does it. It's hard enough for most women to get along with other women, but two women in a relationship?!? This is Girls Gone Wild Gone Very Very Bad. My sister is the "man"... very laid back, very chill, very non-confrontational. Her latest girl is a girl in every sense of the word. Drama queen to the umpteenth degree. She purposely pushes my sister's buttons to get a rise or a response ... but in most cases it blows up in her face. My sister just doesn't give in ... most of the time. But i just can't get with it. Besides the idea of munching on something I'm only supposed to vacuum, I can't handle the notion of having to emotionally handle another woman. I'm a Cancer, a water sign, which means my tears and emotions flow freely around this b*tch! But seriously, we're emotional wrecks! Add that to the fact that we are already emotional creatures (being born with a vagina and all), and you got a serious emotional catastrophe on your hands. So with all this emotion flowing, how can anyone get anywhere or accomplish anything?
I know about the benefits. Who better understands a woman than a woman? But hell, when the sh*t hits the fan and it's time to play "Who can hurt who more?" I don't want to be anywhere near that. A woman can cut to a man's core, so you already know what she can do to another woman! Face it, we can be some ruthless heifers when we want to be.
I have enough trouble dealing with the man in my life, why add a whole new level of drama to that with a woman in the mix?
Your thoughts?
18 August 2008
New to Blogspot
I'm so excited. I'm new to the community. I used to have a site on Xanga, but I'm pretty sure that's considered "old skool" now lol. This is going to be not only a journal for me, but also a place I can show my talents. I'm really into Photoshop, and I just recently learned how to create custom themes for my Kick (sidekick). I got the 2008 a few days after it came out. I love it!! I have created 4 themes so far, 2 for myself and 2 for my ex that I still live with (complicated!!). I'm excited to make more. I'll start taking requests once I feel more confident in my ability.
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